A friend from church described it best when she said that we are in the “hurry up and wait” stage of adoption. After months of filling out piles upon piles of paperwork, frantically gathering documents and just being busy busy busy with adoption tasks, we have reached the point where we can do nothing but…wait. It is a drastic change, and quite honestly, a shock to my system after months of nonstop craziness. I think the stark contrast makes the wait that much harder and is REALLY reinforcing the fact that we just have to trust God’s timing. I constantly (many, many times a day) have to remind myself that I am not in control of any part of this process and I should not try to take control from the One who is. Knowing God is driving this ship takes away the stress…however, it does not make the waiting any easier. Waiting is hard.
There are multiple layers to waiting when it comes to adoption.
Wait type #1: Wait for “situations”. A situation is when we receive detailed information about a birthmother. These situations will include medical history of the birthmother/father and their extended family as well the known details of her pregnancy and any possible legal or health risks. We must wait to receive situations that are consistent our preferences from either an agency or from our adoption consultant, Susan. For each situation a birth mother is presented a number of profile books for potential adoptive families. Which leads me to wait type #2…
Wait type #2: Once we receive a situation we feel comfortable presenting to, we add our profile book to the mix of potential families to be matched with the birth mother…and wait. We wait for the birthmother to look through the profile books and chose the family that will best fulfill what she desires for her child.
Now that we are “active” we are starting to receive these situations and have JUST started the presenting stage of this process. I anticipate a lot of emotions as we enter into this phase. We will more than likely hear “no” a number of times and will have to ask God to guard our hearts and accept that we will hear our “yes” one day! Once we hear that “yes” we will encounter wait type #3…wait for our baby to arrive!
I guess it is kind of like being pregnant and anxiously awaiting your due date…only WAY less predictable. I sure do hope I am at least a few months into my “pregnancy” at this point 🙂